I hear yelling and laughter down the hall – they're out again. Our dorm's nudists don't have a shower party every night, but they seem to occur more and more frequently now. If I wait long enough, maybe they'll be done before I need to use the bathroom. I work on some backup plans; worst case scenario, I can take my stuff to another bathroom. It’s a little more inconvenient, but I'd rather walk a little further than wade through a mob of exposed genitalia.
Picture this: a young, skinny, pale, little boy, dressed in baggy, light wash jeans and an oversized graphic t-shirt. This was the dress code of the 90s and early 2000s, and it was great for me as a kid: lots of fabric for comfort, as well as protection from scrapes and bruises, with the ability to hide much of my gangly awkwardness common to pre-pubescent boys.
Late one night I started thinking about Bernard, my dad – though I haven't called him "Dad" since I was 9 years old. It dawned on me that I've never given Bernard a present for Father's Day. There are two reasons for that. He never lived with my family as I grew up. He's also dead now.
I've been rereading "Unwanted" for therapy, and it continues to reveal my uncomfortable reflection – all of it, all of me. It often feels like fluorescent lights buzzing overhead at midnight. And yet Stringer's premise encourages me: sexual brokenness almost paradoxically revealing paths to healing.
Tom’s brother Andy returns for his annual tradition of prepping us for the big game! We dive into the big storylines of Super Bowl LIX (or, Licks) and give our predictions for this Chiefs v. Eagles rematch of two years ago. We also spend a good portion of the episode talking about non-football things! Such as the hottest players, the Kendrick v. Drake feud, and the sexuality of various snackfoods. Oh, and Taylor Swift makes her second straight appearance on our Super Bowl episode as well.
As a guy who has long bemoaned the stigmatization of close male friendships in American culture, advocating for more awareness of their necessity, you best believe I was stoked to hear about the 2022 movie, "Close." After watching the trailer, I was instantly sold. Two boys are shown to be close friends, even physically affectionate with one another to the point that their classmates assume them to be gay.
It would be easy to write a few paragraphs about how virtuous all these wonderful men were; how they showed me the (gender-neutral) love of Jesus; how bravely they pursued vulnerability with one another. But I want to do something stupider. I want to write about a vibe, an aesthetic, a rumor of masculinity which I seemed to detect at my first YOBBERS Retreat.
It's easier to remain in the cage even when you can leave, because it's familiar. It's normal. It's hard to ask others for help. It's hard to just...be. Alone. In your own skin.
My time leading up to this year's YOBBERS Retreat came with mixed emotions. I knew a few familiar YOBBERS wouldn't be returning, but I also knew I'd recognize many other guys attending. Anxiety lingered. Had I really built the kind of connections that would help me feel at home this year?
Dawson returns to help us close our At Home series! Tom takes the show on the road to Athens, Georgia, where he once lived for 11 years, to share an in-person conversation with Dawson, who has lived in this city for all 31 of his years. Why did Tom leave home all those years ago, and why has Dawson stayed? Has this same city been a consistent refuge for Dawson, or have there been some darker times, even times where he thought he might leave this only home he's ever known? Both Dawson and Tom live alone, and they share the joys of their homes serving as solitary refuges, as well as the dangers of falling into self-isolation.