I was told I couldn't serve in various areas of ministry, including the youth ministry and being around the younger children at the church.
I had no idea how desperately I'd needed some guy — even some unknowable guy on the Internet — to tell me that I'm awesome.
Before I applied for SOM, some friends were talking to me about becoming a Bible study leader. I grew thrilled at the idea of leading and serving there.
So, as it turns out, I still don't know who I am. And with two decades now under my belt, I have come to the conclusion that I don't know who I want to be.
Hate didn't die in the Orlando shooting -- no, sadly, hate will still continue to breed and spread beyond the Orlando shooting.
But is it wrong that I look for that true brother still, that I still pray for God to bring that true brother to me? I hope not.
There was a split in who I thought I was and who I was thought to be. I fought to be straight and prove to everyone nothing is wrong with me. I'm normal.
I told my best friend that I had literally just come from gay sex in another man's bed. I'd found him on the Internet, then regretted it. I needed support.
I hate myself more than anybody could imagine. I hate my body. I hate my personality. I hate my strengths and weaknesses. I completely fake it to the world.
Before I was even dating or at all interested in my wife, I had sex with another man. I have regretted this decision every day of my life since.