He was never physically affectionate; we’d never even hugged. I wanted to touch him not out of a sexual desire but from a longing to connect with him as love with a brother. I dreamed of a day when we could embrace and confess our brotherly love for each other. I put my hand on his shoulder once. He brushed it off.
As I entered into ministry, I knew my SSA could end it all in one swift move. I hoped that instead of being rejected I would be loved. I hoped that people would notice their prejudice and change once they met me. I spent much time in prayer -- but also smoking.
God has promised to never leave me or forsake me. He promised that my hope in Him will never put me to shame. I am fully known and fully loved.
I was told I couldn't serve in various areas of ministry, including the youth ministry and being around the younger children at the church.
I love attending my church and uphold them to the highest regard. Unfortunately, I was hurt by my church -- and this is my story.
I hated the way I looked! I was a skinny, fearful, awkward, shy person who wished I could look good like the athletic, muscular, confident guys.
My gay brother was publicly outed in a very painful way. He was thrown out of the group and his homosexual sins were revealed to hundreds of members.
I had just intercepted a "booty call" meant for my brother! There was absolutely no doubt now that Brad was having sex with other guys. What to do?
I loved sex so much and didn't want to stop because I found out I could do it. Once I did had sex and knew I could do it anytime I wanted, I took advantage.
Because of this small step, I would be able to be more open to other people in the future, telling them about my struggle with my sexuality.