As we got started I began with, "Well, you know I'm same-sex attracted." He then interjected, "Actually, so am I." I only had about a million questions for him at this point, but I stayed quiet and let him talk.
She had recently broken up with her boyfriend, and she was about to move for a job opportunity in a couple of weeks. We were good friends, and we'd hung out a few times, both by ourselves and within groups. But there was just never a good time to talk about how I felt about her. If I didn't get to talk to her this morning, then I might never have another chance!
We conclude our 7-values series by exploring our other "ship" of discipleship! How do we define this spiritual term? Is discipleship meant only for our own growth, or is our discipleship also for the people around us? How organized or structured must discipleship of believers look? And how have we felt disqualified from discipling others in their walks with Jesus because of our sexuality?
The "honeymoon phase" of coming out to Todd was certainly short-lived. Over the weeks meeting with him at Bible Study, I shared a few more details about my ongoing struggle. One night while I shared, he rather bluntly said, "Well, you can't be gay and be a Christian."
Like most of you reading I begged, cried, yelled, and tried to "pray the gay away," only to have it all go ignored. For years I thought God ignored me. And if He didn't care about me, why should I acknowledge Him and His Son?
I had sex for the first time on May 3, 1979. Funny how you always remember your first. It was with my sister's best friend. I was 17; she was 16. Everyone in the neighborhood swore we were already having sex, but we weren't. I really wasn't interested in her or any other girl for that matter; even if I was, I wouldn't have known what to do anyway.
As a Side B Christian, it's obvious that I am attracted to other dudes; trust me, I wish it weren't so. As I consider my attractions to other men, what isn't so obvious is the fact that it's not always sexual. Of course, I do have sexual feelings toward other men, but that's only part of the story.
All I wanted was to live a fantasy every weekend: to believe that some man wanted me. That he loved me just so I could take my mind off all the negative things I felt about myself. After 29 years of living that life and never once finding happiness or love, God in His own way brought me back to Him and the church. However, I also started experiencing added health issues.
After a significantly hurtful breakup, I questioned my own sexuality for the first time, even if for a blip in time before getting back to work. While almost my entire existence as a woman was sexualized, I still had no space to think of myself as a sexual being. I continued to do inner work in other areas and did a spectacular job hiding behind a door I kept closed. I had dinner with a friend one day, and out of nowhere he mentioned something about Your Other Brothers. We had never discussed issues of sexuality together, and regardless of his intention, God was working. He suggested I check out YOB's podcast on the way home, and I did, and I got hooked.
Our holiday hiatus ends, and the new year begins with returning guest and community member, Adam! Adam joins Tom to talk about staying positive in this Side B life as we learn more of his story. We explore our top strengths from Strengths Finder and recount some of our favorite retreat moments this past fall. Adam also shares what he's excited for in 2023, including Second Christmas!