In this MANLY MONDAY, I dive into the latest excitement on our site: namely, a pair of blog posts that sparked some unexpected arguments on labels and identity. Conflict happens. But how do we handle conflict? Especially as people of faith and followers of Jesus. How do we disagree, and can we learn to disagree well?
My biggest fear was that my best friend was going to force our friendship to end all because of this girl, pushing me away from his life. It was the fear that whatever friendship we'd built in the past he was willing to tear down, trample to the ground, and pretend that I never existed at all.
If telling someone I'm gay allows me to be a light in their life, then I will do it. If saying I am SSA Side B allows me to be a light in their life, I will do that as well. At the end of the day, my desires are secondary to the Great Commission, God's call on the life of every Christian.
The LGBT community depended upon each other when they had no one else. And now they stick together closely, fighting alongside each other. The LGBT community isn't perfect. However, the LGBT community still finds a way to come together for a common purpose. And, honestly, this is attractive to me.
After the funeral, I felt almost paralyzed. I just couldn't force myself to lead at the house. James needed me to lead and be a help to him, so he confronted me on being too passive. I admitted he was right, but I felt unable to get beyond my emotions and lead others. Things degenerated until James and I barely talked.
His profile definitely made him seem like the modern, ideal, "manly man." He was a jock type with many photos of himself playing baseball. He also stated drawing as one of his hobbies, just like me. A straight masculine dude who plays sports, likes drawing, and calls himself a Christian? Perfect!
Same-sex attraction is not the only thing. It's not the only struggle. And I can't tell you the freedom I experienced when I realized homosexuality was actually not even close to the top of my human struggle pyramid.
He was never physically affectionate; we’d never even hugged. I wanted to touch him not out of a sexual desire but from a longing to connect with him as love with a brother. I dreamed of a day when we could embrace and confess our brotherly love for each other. I put my hand on his shoulder once. He brushed it off.
In this episode, Tom dives into the third of our five YOB values — brotherhood. In brotherhood, we learn to share our burdens with one another and bond in the two ways Jesus demonstrated -- the being and the doing. Tom talks his childhood yearnings for brotherhood and how this longing has translated to the present day.
What would it look like for my distant tribe to be gathered together? Didn't God long to change our shame into praise and renown? "Gather us," I prayed. I prayed that my scattered and lost tribe would be drawn together, our fortunes restored before our eyes. It was a prayer for my own benefit, but also for all of us.