We continue SPANNING THE SPECTRUM of sexual identity in our community as first-time guest Adam opens up about being cross-oriented: physically and sexually attracted to men, and romantically and emotionally attracted to women. He also describes this orientation as "heteroromantic homosexual."
Ben joins Tom in-studio to share about being married to his best friend, a woman, for the last 15 years and why he opts for queer over bi as his primary identifier. He discloses some of the challenges in this identification as he explains (or defends) himself with certain Christians. He also reveals the joys of his orientation, including how he and his wife have opened their home as a refuge for other queer folks.
Alex answers whether he's felt like a "minority of a minority" in our YOB community as a bisexual Christian, and he shares his long journey coming to terms with his bisexuality – both with himself and the Holy Spirit. He dispels the myth that he and all other bi people are 50-50 attracted both to men and women at all times and in all seasons of life. He shares why it isn't necessarily "easier" being attracted to both sexes rather than exclusively attracted to the same sex as a Side B person.
Marshall joins us as another "OG" contributor and cofounder of YOB to share his perspective on sexuality, why he doesn’t identify as gay or SSA despite only experiencing attraction for men. He also discusses a marriage conversation he once had with a woman he dated. He shares the time of his life that presented his greatest struggles with gay temptation, as well as the thing that’s brought him the most joy in his sexuality.
We kick off a new summer ConvoCast series exploring the diverse sexual identifications within our YOB community. We start with Matt who identifies as gay and Christian, but not those two identities together. He tells of his journey from "SSA" to gay and how he recently experienced feelings for a girl for the first time in his life. He shares about going to a source outside the Church to learn whether his sexual identification is as rigid as it seems.
As we got started I began with, "Well, you know I'm same-sex attracted." He then interjected, "Actually, so am I." I only had about a million questions for him at this point, but I stayed quiet and let him talk.
She had recently broken up with her boyfriend, and she was about to move for a job opportunity in a couple of weeks. We were good friends, and we'd hung out a few times, both by ourselves and within groups. But there was just never a good time to talk about how I felt about her. If I didn't get to talk to her this morning, then I might never have another chance!
As a Side B Christian, it's obvious that I am attracted to other dudes; trust me, I wish it weren't so. As I consider my attractions to other men, what isn't so obvious is the fact that it's not always sexual. Of course, I do have sexual feelings toward other men, but that's only part of the story.
Although the teasing continued for the rest of the school year, I honestly learned to ignore it. I became a recluse at a very young age. This reclusiveness made the other kids – especially the other boys – a bit of a mystery to me. Particularly physically. Looking back, I realize I was in a bit of a paradox: I didn't want the other boys to see any of my body, but I also had somewhat of an interest in theirs.
How do I deal with unmet sexual desire? It's a question which led me to ask, what is my sexual desire? Of course, "sexual desire" is a category with a lot of things in it. "There's a lot of different fish in that bucket," I told myself. But let's not call it a bucket. Let's call it an aquarium so all the fish have plenty of room to swim around, and so we can get a good look at them.