He decided he didn't want to be my friend anymore. I'm not entirely sure who was more to blame, and this not knowing still plagues me.
It just seems we forget to say it or are embarrassed to say it or maybe sometimes I'm just not "man enough" to say it: I love you.
I would look and feel more "normal" if married. I would definitely fit into the Christian world better. So, I decided to try out dating a girl.
Leading up Gay Pride, we were in prayer and in the Word, asking God to give us love for the LGBT people and words of wisdom.
I spent a lot of time hugging him and encouraging him as he recovered. It felt so good to be a blessing to my straight guy friend in his time of need.
While searching for guys to hook up with, I noticed an ad saying: Looking for a Generous Guy -- basically, asking for money in exchange of sex.
But is it wrong that I look for that true brother still, that I still pray for God to bring that true brother to me? I hope not.
When my gay brother received his booty call one night, I decided I had to move out. It was then that a guy named Brandon invited me to come live with him.
I am in recovery. And like the alcoholic with a beer or a drug addict with a joint, I cannot expect to masturbate every now and then and beat this addiction.
There was a split in who I thought I was and who I was thought to be. I fought to be straight and prove to everyone nothing is wrong with me. I'm normal.