I had destroyed our friendship by my unhealthy emotional dependence and demands for exclusive affection. He understandably ended our friendship.
"How could you take a bath?" The question seemed ludicrous to me. I walked a lot that day. I was tired. My legs were sore. The bath was hot. This guy is a genuinely nice guy who loves God. But he's bought into a delusional sense of masculinity based more on actions than identity.
Even with a better understanding of my SSA, he just couldn't take daily contact with me anymore. So, he told me he was moving out.
If I strictly fly the flag of my sexuality, I view the world solely through my attractions. I see everything in life as related to homosexuality.
I know what it's like to hurt, to have nowhere to go. This is why I keep ministering to people who need to hear that Jesus loves them.
"Straight-baiting" has always fascinated me: the act of tricking a heterosexual individual to engage in homosexual activities.
I still get tense and nervous and start shaking just thinking about coming out again. Some days it's better; other days it's not.
I don't want sex with another man like I don't want sex with a woman. And most days I just need someone to tell me that's okay.
I know I'm a hypocrite, yet I embrace that term and the things it entails because it shows that God can use me despite my flaws.
When YOB started, I was a regular. I was posting pretty much every week. I was reliable. Dependable. Always ready to share. And then I almost left it all.