I'm always thankful for God leading my friends closer to Him; sometimes, though, I wish that didn't mean actually moving them.
The shame over my SSA made me feel that I was something evil, repulsive, and unlovable. My loneliness and lack of friends seemed to prove it.
I was honestly lonely then, but I pretended like I wasn't. Self-reliance unconsciously became my norm.
Knowing I'm still loved and accepted when I bare the deepest parts of me has meant so much. Through these friendships, I've grown more confident in myself.
As addicts often do, Jake used my older friend Jeremy's sexuality to manipulate him.
"Maybe God brought me here just to meet you," my new friend, Henry, said plainly. "I mean, it's probably not just for that reason, but who knows?"
I never sought out pornography; it found me. With technology these days, it was practically inevitable. It all started with soft-core pornography.
I've talked to a lot of people about this rejection and they've all said they don't quite understand the rejection and couldn't see anything I'd done wrong.
Henry and I had connected really well — or, so I thought. He hadn't told me he was moving before it became public knowledge.
The other guys told me about the Korean spa and how those experiences helped them. This sounded like something right down my alley.