What started that night was three years of an unchecked porn addiction. I never felt guilty. I don't know why. Perhaps because I felt like I wasn't hurting anyone?
At times, it's been emotionally and even physically painful to be this alpha male's friend. But also enormously rewarding and well worth it! I refer to James as an "alpha male" because he is a natural leader who many others, especially straight men, gladly follow.
Most of these cuddling experiences transcend the physical and begin to feel more spiritual. We aren’t just touching bodies; we’re touching souls.
People who do know me, who do know my past, do they still question my attractions? Honestly, I kind of want people to ask me if I'm still attracted to men.
I think it's ironic, but I really believe our stories may be better received by unbelievers than some churches. Fortunately, my story is different. Most people have patiently heard me out and graciously extended loving support.
Why is it whenever we get so comfortable with our good lives, there's always something that shakes things up?
I felt comforted. Assured. Confident. My pastor's hand on my shoulder gave me a shot of strength.
Some of the happiest periods of my life took place during college and grad school. I lived with a group of eight guys, and they were the greatest friends one could ask for. As their dating relationships grew more serious, I felt myself going down on their list of priorities. Some of those friends got married. And our friendships effectively ended.
As my childhood entered a big transition phase, I started dealing with it through unhealthy self-reliance. This created a sort of double life.
God has promised to never leave me or forsake me. He promised that my hope in Him will never put me to shame. I am fully known and fully loved.