BLOG ARCHIVE
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I lost my sexual sobriety because I went in search of shortcuts to intimacy with other men. I knew it wouldn't satisfy. Just like all the other times.
I did my best not to break down, but I could feel the tears falling down my face. I sucked it up, took a deep breath, and walked out of the church.
I did not have heroes growing up. Many little boys look up to their father or older brothers. I didn't have a clear definition of what a hero should be.
Remembering the way his parents had taught him to follow Jesus Christ, he had a prodigal son moment and spent over an hour crying to God for forgiveness.
I was told I couldn't serve in various areas of ministry, including the youth ministry and being around the younger children at the church.
I had no idea how desperately I'd needed some guy — even some unknowable guy on the Internet — to tell me that I'm awesome.
We were always careful to keep appropriate, healthy boundaries even though we knew we were not sexually attracted to each other. I think we were just cautious of others gossiping if we appeared to be too close. Unfortunately, churches like ours are especially prone to gossip about SSA guys.
Before I applied for SOM, some friends were talking to me about becoming a Bible study leader. I grew thrilled at the idea of leading and serving there.
I don't get wet dreams when I masturbate regularly; they only happen when I don't. Like when it happened last week.