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Some of the happiest periods of my life took place during college and grad school. I lived with a group of eight guys, and they were the greatest friends one could ask for. As their dating relationships grew more serious, I felt myself going down on their list of priorities. Some of those friends got married. And our friendships effectively ended.
As my childhood entered a big transition phase, I started dealing with it through unhealthy self-reliance. This created a sort of double life.
God has promised to never leave me or forsake me. He promised that my hope in Him will never put me to shame. I am fully known and fully loved.
I'm always thankful for God leading my friends closer to Him; sometimes, though, I wish that didn't mean actually moving them.
The shame over my SSA made me feel that I was something evil, repulsive, and unlovable. My loneliness and lack of friends seemed to prove it.
I was honestly lonely then, but I pretended like I wasn't. Self-reliance unconsciously became my norm.
Knowing I'm still loved and accepted when I bare the deepest parts of me has meant so much. Through these friendships, I've grown more confident in myself.
As addicts often do, Jake used my older friend Jeremy's sexuality to manipulate him.
"Maybe God brought me here just to meet you," my new friend, Henry, said plainly. "I mean, it's probably not just for that reason, but who knows?"