I like hugs personally. I think they're great, and I like that hugging differentiates friendships from acquaintances. When I first saw this hugging moment on the show, I immediately felt awkward with Barry. I might have held my breath to see what he was going to do.
I will be reminded of this brokenness every time we are forced to gather. I hate this brokenness. For it is in this brokenness that my SSA came to be.
Today, while walking around work, I saw him again, this time from the back. I almost fell forward due to the unreal and freakish resemblance. It was all I could do not to burst into tears. It felt like I was being haunted by my best friend.
Looking back, I still wonder: what happened that caused John to go from "best friend" to "somebody that I used to know"? It seemed instantaneous.
I longed to be someone else. To not have to carry the burden of different. It was so heavy. I soon began to pursue perfection. Not because I wanted to, but because it was demanded of me.
I have wanted nothing more than a guy who would give everything to show his love for me. And this desire has warped my life in more ways than I could ever describe.