So, as it turns out, I still don't know who I am. And with two decades now under my belt, I have come to the conclusion that I don't know who I want to be.
I didn't belong here. An odd realization to make. YOB is for the outcast. A place for those who feel they don't belong. It's a community for the outcasts.
It just seems we forget to say it or are embarrassed to say it or maybe sometimes I'm just not "man enough" to say it: I love you.
This digital character was the very model of an ideal father. This fictional father was who I always wanted my real-life father to be.
Hate didn't die in the Orlando shooting -- no, sadly, hate will still continue to breed and spread beyond the Orlando shooting.
But is it wrong that I look for that true brother still, that I still pray for God to bring that true brother to me? I hope not.
There was a split in who I thought I was and who I was thought to be. I fought to be straight and prove to everyone nothing is wrong with me. I'm normal.
Do I really want complete healing, or am I satisfied being a lifelong struggler? Is the self-pity I've surrounded myself with for so long too hard to leave?
My father found out about my gay pornography use. He wanted to help me. And then my father never spoke to me about gay pornography use again.
Do I want to have a brother I care about that much that I will declare putting him above all else? Or do I want to have a brother saying those words to me?