I wasn't sure what to say. I couldn't get a feel for how my friend felt. Was he upset, angry, weirded out, touched, happy, confused? Henry gave no clue to his thoughts. Only one emotion registered in my own gut: fear. Months prior . . . The first few weeks after Henry left our church were actually harder than I expected. Entering the office each day, I caught myself instinctually looking at his desk to say hello. I found myself wanting to turn around to chat with him about the latest blog I'd just read. I began to feel an ache around the time each day when we used to go away from our desks to read the Bible together and check in with each other. I wanted to fill Henry's absence -- but my options were nonexistent. For one, I was now the only guy in my office suite....
When I was a kid, my dream was to grow up and get a wife and kids. A lot of kids. My family and church taught me to pray for my future spouse. So, I did. Everyday for years. I prayed for the girl I'd one day marry, that God would protect her and care for her, whoever she was.
I came to see how often the word "brother" was being used around me. The word was being thrown around constantly. And I saw that I was one of the ones who used "brother" the most. In my desire to embrace this new brotherhood, I had actually started ruining the word for myself. I had worn out this once meaningful word until I couldn't even bear to say it anymore.
The vast majority of "Queer Eye" is not even addressing sex; it is addressing prejudice, shame, and loneliness. I have experienced shame, the idea that I am simply unlovable. I even believed for many years that God hated me, that God himself couldn’t even love me.
These men, their stories showed me the courage to love. The courage to love family and friends, whether they understand, accept us, or not. The courage to love and trust God even in the midst of confusion and lies. The courage to love myself.
If telling someone I'm gay allows me to be a light in their life, then I will do it. If saying I am SSA Side B allows me to be a light in their life, I will do that as well. At the end of the day, my desires are secondary to the Great Commission, God's call on the life of every Christian.
The LGBT community depended upon each other when they had no one else. And now they stick together closely, fighting alongside each other. The LGBT community isn't perfect. However, the LGBT community still finds a way to come together for a common purpose. And, honestly, this is attractive to me.
Why would I — someone who claims to believe in an omnipotent God who cares for me — wait to go to that God only until after I had tried everything else? When I began to sort out what my sexuality and gender identity meant to me as a follower of Christ, I didn't have to do it all by myself. I could take it all to God.
Most of my life, I've thought of faith mainly as a decision based on knowing some facts about God. Instead, faith is about coming to Jesus in such a way that the deepest hungers and thirsts of our souls are satisfied in him.
You shouldn't have to hide you are. You should be able to be honest about every part of yourself and be accepted and loved for it. And your friends and family should be the biggest supporters of your life as you do so.