Tom

I'm YOB's cofounder and editor, and I also host our two podcasts. I've written a couple books as Thomas Mark Zuniga, including a 2013 memoir in which I first came out. Once upon another universe I anonymously blogged about my faith and sexuality under the Xanga username, twoBeckonings. I'm an INFJ, Enneagram 4w5, and my spirit animal is the buffalo. I love to travel, and my favorite place in the world is the one where coffee and vulnerability meet. When I'm not wandering, I live in Asheville, North Carolina – the Jewel of the Blue Ridge.
Do I Fast to Punish Myself or Meet with God?
Do I Fast to Punish Myself or Meet with God?
Do I fast because I truly desire to hear from Him more clearly, walk with Him more closely, and feel less spiritually cloudy? Or do I fast because, well, it's comfortable to be uncomfortable? Because it almost feels good to deprive, if not punish my body – particularly after I sin?
YOB ConvoCast 082: Tom & Daniel Pitch this Summer's First European YOBBERS Retreat!
YOB ConvoCast 082: Tom & Daniel Pitch this Summer’s First European YOBBERS Retreat!
Daniel returns to pitch this summer's special gathering of YOBBERS – in Europe! He joins Tom to discuss a smaller-scale retreat or "holiday" somewhere in the Mediterranean, inviting all who are interested to email him ASAP. Daniel also catches us up on his life in London – including the exciting news that he is now a British citizen! He tells us about one country where he's already traveled with his new passport, as well as another on the horizon to see a certain female pop star perform.
5 Times My Heart Has Swelled as a Man
5 Times My Heart Has Swelled as a Man
Once upon a time I wrote about five times I've felt like a man. As we wind down the theme of "Love Month" at YOB, I started thinking about some instances when my heart has swelled, or exploded, or some other symphonic verb meant to translate the depths of safety, care, and affection I've experienced with other men. This isn't a "top 5" or hardly exhaustive list, but these are five stories that come to mind...
YOB ConvoCast 081: Tom & Andrew Review "Heartstopper" and Discuss Asexuality!
YOB ConvoCast 081: Tom & Andrew Review “Heartstopper” and Discuss Asexuality!
First-time guest Andrew joins Tom to discuss Netflix’s "Heartstopper"! It’s a queer coming-of-age show that many in our YOB community have enjoyed, though its depictions of queer romance could also be distracting for some (nothing sexual in the first two seasons, just lots of same-sex kissing). We discuss what we loved from the characters in romantic pairings to the loyal friendships that ultimately reinforce this show. We devote our remaining time to the show’s lone asexual character as two people in YOB who identify as asexual ourselves. What did we resonate with in this character, and where was the disconnect?
YOB ConvoCast 080: Tom & Andy Talk Super Bowl LVIII and Taylor Swift!
YOB ConvoCast 080: Tom & Andy Talk Super Bowl LVIII and Taylor Swift!
Tom’s straight younger brother Andy returns for his yearly appearance on the podcast to educate us on this year’s Super Bowl matchup between the Chiefs and 49ers! We also dive into all the T-Swift and Travis Kelce storylines, including the often loud objections to their media coverage. Is toxic masculinity out of control?!
The Masculine Uncertainty of Being Uncircumcised
The Masculine Uncertainty of Being Uncircumcised
How does this "normal boy" turned "normal man" feel about his naked body? His penis? I'm still unsure of many of the answers to these questions. From the inside out, I've struggled to feel normal (comfortable) in my own skin. This masculine body. Starting with that particular appendage.
YOB ConvoCast 079: Alex Holds Hands with His Straight Guy Friends!
YOB ConvoCast 079: Alex Holds Hands with His Straight Guy Friends!
Alex is announced as our newest YOB contributor! We dive deeper into his blog about holding hands with his straight guy friends: one story in which a friend reached across a restaurant table to hold his hand, and another in which Alex extended his own hand toward a friend while walking with him in the park. What fears came up with expressing such open touch?
YOB ConvoCast 078: Tom & Matthew Analyze Gen Z Fashion and Relive Our 5th Retreat!
Matthew returns for a second go on the podcast as we dive into Gen Z fashion trends! Have the '80s and '90s just had a baby and its name is Gen Z? We also look back at our fifth camp retreat held a few months ago, reveling in our victorious volleyball match against a group of teenagers. Matthew also shares with us a snippet of what he shared at the retreat when he got to speak for us one night, including the reminder that God is working and loves to work on us slowly.
YOB ConvoCast 077: Tom & Dawson Create New Christmas Traditions!
YOB ConvoCast 077: Tom & Dawson Create New Christmas Traditions!
Dawson returns to help Tom celebrate Christmas this year! Dawson shares why he celebrates Christmas in February in addition to December, and Tom tells a Christmas tale of the first man he ever feared. We reference the "Fancy Christmas" recently spent with our YOBBERS community, including someone’s goal to appreciate Jesus’ humanity during what can be a complicated, if not lonely Christmas season.
YOB ConvoCast 076: Tom & Aaron Pitch Posture Shift!
YOB ConvoCast 076: Tom & Aaron Pitch Posture Shift!
Aaron shares about Posture Shift, a nonprofit ministry he's gotten more involved with this year as a member of their advisory council. The guys share some Posture Shift event stories, including the first time Tom publicly identified as asexual on a Posture Shift panel, while Aaron recently met one of our YOBBERS from Scotland at a Posture Shift event!
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